Brookside 7/31/17

Hey fam--

What I love about Kentucky

-Teeth are a rare commodity 

-The Confederate flag is hoisted and people don't bat an eye.

-You can order gravy on pretty much anything at any restaurant 

-You might get invited spontaneously to join an amateur bluegrass group--they'll just hand you a guitar

-You might be in the middle of a lesson and your investigator will yell in the other room for her son to "warsh the tolet"

-Everyone calls you "baby girl" or "honey" or "sweetheart" or "ma'am"

-You will come to identify different brands of cigarettes by smell

-Everyone loves Jesus. Everyone has a testimony that God lives. Half of everyone has a story about how they almost died four times and God saved them and that's why they're still here because they have a purpose.

Here are some random funny quotes that I've collected my whole mission for your, eh especial delectation...

"Be dignified, they said. Ride a bike, they said. In a skirt, THEY SAID."-Sister Johns

-"What's your name?"

-"Lee-ab."

-"Liam?"

-"No, Leeab. L-I-B, Lee-ab."-Convo with Kentuckians

"I'm praying for you...scientific prayers." -Atheist college professor 

"Adam have kids? He doesn't have a rib, how is that possible?"-12 year old investigator

"WHOA. We're gonna get translated." -President Brough

"Our family is like a discombobulated bobble head." -Sister Dewey

"I'm saved by grace! Get off my case, prune-face!" -President Brough quoting baptists

"One can never be overdressed or overeducated. Except on Pday." -Sister Johns

Have a blessed week!

Love,

Sister Kristen Johns